HOW DOES YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE DEFINE WHO YOU ARE?
It’s not OK when that comparison gets mixed-up with how we value ourselves and our self confidence gets broken.
You see our own self definition means so much more than what others think. How we see ourselves is how we relate to the world.
Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
You are you and there ain’t no one else like ya!
How you see yourself (your self worth) is a direct factor of how you value yourself.
I know it should be easy to understand how you see yourself, but many people don’t really know who ‘they‘ are.
Your Outward Appearance
You’re sitting in your local coffee joint yacking to a friend when a tall red head walks in. You look her up and down. Check out what she is wearing, look over her hair, see how she interacts with her world and draw a conclusion about ‘who’ she is and it ain’t a good one. Everyone has done this.
What you are not realizing is that you are directly comparing yourself to her consciously or subconsciously it doesn’t really matter, it’s happened. The reason why is that somewhere in our crazy minds we place great value on our outward appearance and by comparing our ‘self’ to others we start to form an identity.
It’s not a bad thing, it’s just what it is!
Don’t let that physical comparison fool you into believing you aren’t good enough or are better than anyone else. You are you and that’s a mighty fine person to be.
Change that Kookie Komparison (playin with da words :) ) into productive self compliments.
1. Why am I comparing myself this lady I don’t even know?
2. Am I admiring her looks or picking them apart?
3. Why would I think I’m less because she is the way she is?
Try this Instead:
Am I really just liking the kindness in her face or her happy misdemeanor?
Am I drawing a conclusion about someone I don’t know because she is attractive?
Am I insecure with how I present myself so I draw unfair conclusions about her?
Your Inner Speak
Oh boy! This one is a BIGGIE!!
You’re having a conversation, playing a sport, answering a question in class, at a meeting or just interacting with other humans and you say something awkward, have the wrong answer or just plain spoke before your brain had time to react.
It’s OK, we have all been there and done that.
Don’t let that defeating self-talk take over your mind and emotions. “I’m stupid”, “How could I have messed that up?”, “I’m a loser”, these negative words and ideas only have a defeating purpose, and that purpose is to defeat YOU!
Challenge yourself every single time those Negative Nellies pop into your head.
1. Why do I feel this way?
2. Is what I’m thinking fact or am I making some of this up in my head? Is it true?
3. Am I jumping to the worst negative conclusion?
Try this instead:
Is it really as bad as I’m thinking it to be?
What’s the worst thing that could happen?
Will any of this really matter a year from now, a month or even a week?
Your Drawing The WRONG Conclusion Over Someone’s Success
“He must be dealing something illegal because he has money.” “She probably slept her way to the top that’s why she’s where she is in the company.”
P-A-LA-EEEZ!! Please get over yourself cause what you are shoveling is stinkin up the joint and hurting my brain.
Ask yourself “Self? Why would you even think this?” It’s OK to admire someone elses success,
Don’t immediately draw conclusions as to how they got there. That’s unfair to them and so very unfair to you. That Green-Eyed-Monster is not attractive AT ALL. Ask yourself this,
1. Am I jealous of his success?
2. Do I regret not following through with MY dreams?
3. Do I have goals?
Try this instead:
Make a list of things you want to accomplish.
Find a mentor who can give you guidance towards your goals.
Don’t be afraid of your own success.
Here’s my thoughts on everything we talked about right here! You are amazing! There is no one else in this whole giant universe like you. So why do you think you need to be like someone else?
Find your dreams, write them down, build a dream/vision board and go get what the heck you want out of this life. You only get one so LIVE THAT DAMN THING TO DEATH!!
If you want to get a boost in your income and be with peeps who want you to be the best you YOU can be, click here.
Vanessa and Tony